Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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