Don't you send me to vm
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
