u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
