party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
