We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
