He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
smell my finger.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Boobs speak an international language.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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