Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i barfeds in our rink
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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