It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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