I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
