If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
