That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
