My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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