haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
