i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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