dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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