i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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