You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
