i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
