hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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