S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
