Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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