I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I have fence marks all over my body
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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