yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
