She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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