lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just had sex bonerless
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
