you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
