When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
