In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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