i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
