she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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