where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
