if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
