where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
