you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
