Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
