we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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