I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
