that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
