He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
