Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
