i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
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