He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she peed on how many people?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
