I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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