she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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