My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
