I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
