Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
