i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
