so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
