Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Who put my cat in the fridge?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
